Check out our submissions page to add your work to the artistic mosaic!
(I) Art
Violinist- Warren Muzak
Untitled- Cyrus Carlson
The Watchful Eye of Modernity- Erika Salvador
Devotion- Zeidan Naqueev In Zulkifli
Dreams collage- Irina Tall Novikova
(II) WRITING
Evermore- Nabeeha Mudassar
The Flowers Within Her No Longer Bloom- Samawia Naeem
A Hopeful Grave- Madison Bartolomeo
Thoughts On New Year's Eve- Hannah Sophia Gonzaga
When People Say The World Is Beautiful- Eileen Veatch
Perception- Regina Yap
I Do Not Know My Face- Penny Amara
The Car Ride Home- Ani Manners
Soapy Bubbles- Ankita Khatri
Self Portrait As A Stag Beetle- Christian Ward
Our Foregone Tale- Aditi Krishna
Eight Hours And A Half- Neo Chiappe
Shower Thoughts- Genevieve A. Robinson
I Am A Lily / Garden On Fire / Running Through the AM/ A Man's Tears Are Made Of Blood- Jezabel Castillo
-c a r e s s - Cainoosh Khan
Consumerism/ I Wish That God Is Listening- Eugénie Baungaléa
Sun As My Protector- Ray Castellanos
Senior Year So Far- Anonymous
Secret Cat In Hell- Alecia Gabrielle
Flowers- Zoha Hasan
Healing Is A Bowl Of Sunlight In My Darling's Arms- Seerat Fatima
Temple- Cait Roddam Jones
Mother Wants Me Dead- Anahi Cabrera
Dear Tomorrow- Sasi Kondru
Obscure sight...!- Mariya Siddiqui
By Warren Muzak
"I'm a self-taught professional Canadian illustrator and award winning 2D animator.
My artistic journey started in the late 70’s, inspired by the captivating visual narratives found in comics and MAD magazine.
As a seasoned commercially published illustrator I have worked for publishers, and in film and animation."
"This piece started of a sketch while attending a Chamber Orchestra rehearsal. The musician was so focused yet serene while waiting for her moment to play. I was drawn to her energy."
By Cyrus Carlson
Cyrus Carlson is an abstract painter from the Midwest
By Erika Salvador
Erika, born and raised in the Philippines, is an incoming first-year at Amherst College with an intended major in Statistics. In her free time, she loves to go down a poetry rabbit hole, discuss pop culture, and explore digital art and graphic design. You can discover her art at @bodeganierika on Instagram.
The artwork embodies the unease of living in a world where privacy is a currency spent without our consent. It visualizes the shadow of surveillance and data tracking that follows our every digital move. Through abstract forms and intense colors that symbolize alarm, I wanted to covey the constant watchful presence of technology.
By ZEIDAN NAQEEB BIN ZULKIFLI
Zeidan Naqeeb is a Masscom student from Malaysia who enjoys photography and writing in his free time. You can check more of his work on his instagram @zhnaqeeb
"Hundreds of thousands of Tamil descends congregate together in Batu Caves in Selayang for Thaipusam celebration, celebrating the deity, Murugan conquest over the demon Surapadman."
By Irina Tall Novikova
Irina Tall (Novikova) is an artist, graphic artist, illustrator. She graduated from the State Academy of Slavic Cultures with a degree in art, and also has a bachelor's degree in design.
The first personal exhibition "My soul is like a wild hawk" (2002) was held in the museum of Maxim Bagdanovich. In her works, she raises themes of ecology, in 2005 she devoted a series of works to the Chernobyl disaster, draws on anti-war topics. The first big series she drew was The Red Book, dedicated to rare and endangered species of animals and birds. Writes fairy tales and poems, illustrates short stories. She draws various fantastic creatures: unicorns, animals with human faces, she especially likes the image of a man - a bird - Siren.
Links to my social networks:
https://instagram.com/irina369tall?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
https://instagram.com/irinanov4155?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y
By Nabeeha Mudassar
A seventeen year old girl from Pakistan, Nabeeha has been writing from the very first moment she learned how to pick up a pencil. Various books, poems and stories pay tribute to her life. Her hobbies include reading, crocheting and swimming.
inspired by we're in love by boygenius
id marry you in an narrow streetway
in the blink of an eye, a day from the world's end
id say your name in a hospital room, whisper it in my last breath
until all that's left is forgiveness in the wake of a bleeding wound
id cry to sleep for one vision of your twisting smile even as my lips may never curve to those same lengths
i would lay a curse and a prayer by your feet for all of eternity, never a shadow of doubt, never a heedy warning
fraught in worship as i would still stand, evermore i shall wish to hear the chiming melody of that breathless laugh even as i cross the street to avoid it
By Samawia Naeem
Samawia Naeem is a 21-year-old student from Pakistan. She is pursuing a bachelor's degree in English Literature. She likes to read and write. But she prefers writing mostly on nature and love.
"The flowers within her no longer blossom"
She doesn’t weep, she won’t cry,
She is strong, no one knows why.
She is torn, she is broken
The flowers within her no longer blossom.
She’s depressed, she’s distressed,
Things she’s seen have left her heart oppressed.
But now she’s resilient, or maybe I’m mistaken,
For at times, her little heart crumbles and hands tremble.
At that instance, she loses her senses,
Into another world, she swiftly commences.
And in that realm, her troubles she can efface,
Finding solace in a peaceful, serene space.
~S.N
By Madison Bartolomeo
Madison Bartolomeo is a third-year student at the USD studying Italian and English. John Keats enchants every portion of her being and is one of her grandest inspirations. Madison longs to convey love in the rawest form possible, the sadness, hope, and passion of it all. She writes in the midnight hours, as she believes this is the hour of faes, goblins, and sprites, those who bewitch willing writers. As of now, she resides in dreamy San Diego, California.
When I die, I would like
To be buried next to you
Although your heart may
Long for different soil
I daresay mine might finally
Appease you. I have grown
Forget-me-nots in your name
If you’d only have me, my love
To finally embrace you, albeit
With moss, stone, and briar in our way
T’would soften the blow of knowing
That you may never take my hand
I have flesh and blood to
Offer you. But alas, it isn’t enough
I shall wait as we age gracefully
A peaceful dread, the coming of
Long-awaited requited affection.
An efflorescence of wilted roses.
By Hannah Sophia Gonzaga
Sophie is an 18 year old Humanities student from the Philippines. Currently, she's a senior in high school and is just doing her best to get through it all.
A truth settles in me as the sun settles in the west.
It blows over my skin, frigid as a winter wind’s kiss.
It burrows in my belly like a bear in its den.
The revelation hits me straight in the face:
I will never be as young as I am now.
Every step I take is one step farther from my birth—
Straying from the definite point of my arrival
And nearing the final point of my departure.
All that I am could end in the blink of a cosmic eye
And I would be none the wiser.
What do I have to show for my existence on this planet?
What will I leave behind when it is my time to go?
Who will I be in the minds of my grandchildren’s children?
Will they even know the name on my tomb?
How will I answer the universe when she asks
For tales of my time spent with mother earth?
The simple answer is I do not know.
I do not know now,
And perhaps I never will.
These thoughts will linger for the rest of my life,
But tonight, pyrotechnic paint splatters the sky
In rivalry with its stellar birthmarks.
I will smile for all I know, for all I’ve been,
And for all I’ll never learn.
By Eileen Veatch
Eileen Veatch (she/her) has been writing poetry for 3 years, dabbling in many different kinds but preferring free verse. She was recently published through Bookleaf Publishing and can’t wait to continue her journey.
Today on a park bench
I observed a little girl
With golden locks
Pick up a golden flower.
With a beam of pride she
Presented it to her mother.
“Put that down, honey,
It’s a weed” the mother said.
Her face dropped, and she stared at it.
The little girl didn’t understand
What the word “weed” meant.
But it sounded ugly and harsh.
Still, how could something
So pretty, so bright,
Be something so ugly?
Nonetheless, the girl turned
And as she did,
I saw her drop the flower into
Her tiny pocket.
By Regina Yap
I am Regina, a 16 year old writer and poet from Singapore! I just started on my sci-fi, adventure and dystopian novel, Sarve.
This a poem that discusses the curiousness and fickleness of perception in various aspects including sight, memory, feelings, reality and situations. I hope this spurs readers to reflect :)
Perception, perception
How curious it is!
A dress seen white and yellow
Yet is blue and black
A student as invisible as wallpaper
Becomes popular overnight
Once a perfect soulmate
Now a living ordeal
Being alone, being lonely
Perhaps the same, yet different
“Saw it with my own two eyes!”
Indeed a memory
Mirrors reflect
Do we refract?
In 2024, a dream
2099, virtual reality
Of course it’s happening in the head
Does it mean it isn’t real?
Perception, perception
How curious indeed.
By Penny Amara
Penny Amara is a senior in college, currently receiving her degree in English and Creative Writing! She mostly dabbles in fiction, with connections to thriller and mythology, but poetry has a special place in her heart.
I Do Not Know My Face
I do not know my face
The one you view with eyes so tender
And I know you shall replace
The world around me I can see
I can see your face
In the breeze as it passes me
With fervor and lack of heat
Defending the blades of grass
It battles through daily
Turn and look at the face
I have as it looks back
To see your smile and
Know that I wish to stay here
And be with you for a little while
By Ani Manners
Ani is a writer with a passion for experimentation in art, reading and life. She works majorly in poetry, flash fiction and article style pieces.
The car ride home.
It’s a hollowing and tiring event that leads to delusions of the finest kind.
The sound of engines seeps into the sound of glaring music in headphones,
my sleep infested head rests on my rotting body.
The sound of the recently departed holiday echoes around the stifling seats as the reminder of home drowns out the wining of the memories in the camera.
The faded roads stare at my hungry soul.
The rain hits them like they hit me through windows opened to allow the crying sounds from the divinities we know nothing of.
And whilst golden sunsets and sugared seas echo in my past,
I know, don’t we know, of the tea spilt on the duvet, and the piles of books I’ve tripped over.
It’s the coffee drank in the morning, bitter and lasting,
But like the stain on the duvet, strangling and comforting, watched by those same divinities that screamed our desperations from above.
But the comfort caresses me.
I’m on my way home.
By Ankita Khatri
My writing process is something that comes from hours of staring into nothing. Thoughts percolate and then does my brain allow me to write.
Soapy bubbles:
suds slip curves, drawing lines for reference
fingers slipping in between strands of hair
soap in white sheets swirl like hot chocolate
steam wafting
and droplets of water trickles into creases
seams of use, stitched to last
raised scars dot and dash—
little remnants of childhood lost
left to shame and shoved in corners,
into vents
the air warms, a blanket
for a paused moment
soft suds caress, kisses of heat
forget me not—the steam whispers
as the curtain is pushed back
and sheets of soap swirl
down drains like hot chocolate
the mirror fogs, a grey tie-die
made every night
By Christian Ward
Christian Ward is a UK-based poet with recent work in Acumen, Dreich, Dream Catcher, Dodging the Rain and Canary. He was longlisted for the 2023 Aurora Prize for Writing, shortlisted for the 2023 Ironbridge Poetry Competition and 2023 Aesthetica Creative Writing Award, and won the 2023 Cathalbui Poetry Competition.
Find me under the hushed blanket
of leaves, hidden in a rotting log
sporting a jacket of moss and lichen,
huddled away from the glare of cameras
in the company of ferns and fly agaric
bright like a clown's nose. Drag me
out to the light and I'll resist with bottle
opener horns – enough strength to topple
dreams. My ice axe legs will grip the earth
as I stop every effort to subdue me.
My wings are concealed in the cello case
on my back. Hard as toffee, they beat
when you sleep. Mine have always
been dipped in glue, tethered by voices
keen to catalogue me, pinpoint
every inch of my body's faults right
down to the parentheses and footnote.
By Aditi Krishna
"An enthusiast of saving lives and learning doing so by perusing MBBS but a soul that bleed ink on paper"
Memories linger,
bringing bitter on my palate
fading the sweetness
Evocations of
times, now turned to lucid dreams
yet seeming afloat
Yonders stretching, strings
of heart; thinned out far and wide
Yet clawing hard on
divine reminiscence
As if the world existed
between you and between
By Neo Chiappe
Neo Chiappe is a bilingual trans masculine poet based in Montevideo, Uruguay. He worked as a content writer at Forbidden Verses. Currently, he is working on his first book, a poetry collection. You can find Neo and his work on Instagram @pansybits.
"to div"
as you paint brown leaves falling off tall trees and pull the drawer open to find that dusty cardigan / summer made you think you’d never wear again, i’ll be writing about how days are getting longer / and the bees, / and getting rid of my long pants.
i don’t quite remember when we started talking nor when did i let you take a glance at my heart. we grew so close yet remain oh / so far apart. days are short for us, we’ve been stolen eight whole hours and a half! / still
my dear dost, i will dream of you as you wake up, and i will gladly listen to you complain about the bad day that you had at work / as i eat breakfast before i head to school. all this to say:
you taught me that friendship is not measured in miles and that language is a bridge we build together, / rather than a barrier. i hope i get to hold your hand with sweaty mine and kiss your pretty face / someday.
By Genevieve A. Robinson
Genevieve Robinson is a 25 year old poet from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She is currently a writer for Girlhood magazine and a former intern for Carlow University's Red Dog Reading Series. Through her writing, she advocates for surviors of sexual assault and abuse. Her work, "Shark Bait"(2019), "The Science behind His name"(2020), and "Statements from Surviors" (2020) have been published in Carlow University's literary magazine, The Critical Point.
"Shower thoughts was written after checking my Facebook memories and seeing that it has been over 7 years since I started dating my ex. The relationship I had with him was extremely abusive and left many emotional scars. This piece serves as a reminder that while I'm still healing from the trauma I endure in the relationship, the invisible scars are still there. While time does heal, we can't rush the healing journey. "
Shower thoughts
Sitting in my porcelain white tub,
water droplets racing down my legs
fighting to reach the huge puddle that refuses
to go down the drain
The drain that I clogged
with thyme
when I was in high school
thinking the spice would fix my hair
I only sit in showers when my brain won’t shut off
Thoughts entering and exiting my mind
like traffic flowing through Grand Central Station,
New York….
The memories of New York
A crowded, rat-infested sewer drain
A toilet where no matter
how many times you flush
the shit keeps coming back up
He remains on my skin regardless
of the water that engulfs me
in its tender warmth
A warmth I wish I felt in his embrace
Sitting in my porcelain white tub,
I realized that no matter
how much time passes
sometimes the drain will still be clogged
By Jezabel Castillo
Jezabel Castillo is a poet from New York who has been writing poetry for 6 years. Her work explores profound, touching themes that hold a significant resonance. She aims to publish her poems with the desire to touch the lives of readers who can find a sense of belonging through her unique perspective in her writing. Her poem "Gods Tears" has appeared on Every Writer's Resource.
I Am A Lily
Rotten thoughts
fumes vainful ephialtes
in the dystopian hopes of
tarnishing a harmonia soul.
I reckoned a mouthful
of distasteful words;
“I shine like gold when I'm at my low”.
I wrecked
a friend,
a body,
a home.
This was the start of
malevolence turbulence.
I tightly held
a fear so folly
of losing my riches
if I weren't sick
to the grail bones.
I'll call my chariot
out to the races
to reconcile the lilies
i've abandoned in the garden.
I don't want poison ivy
to graze my skin
when I look down
on my blissed ignorance.
---
Garden On Fire
I stepped into
a heavenly garden
I grew meticulously.
Blood, sweat and tears
caresses my body.
Then I found a
crimson lighter,
I set the whole thing on fire.
I witness arson
as ice seeps in
the crevices of
my essence.
I tried to tamper
the wilted flowers.
When someone asks
“How are they flourishing”
I say “Never better”.
The stone of my mind
is mystified…
Am I a dying petal?
Or a fallen angel?
---
Running Through The AM
How many moons ago
did I wish on the stars
for some love?
I have been missing
the tangelo sunrises,
but the sunrises,
have not been longing
for me.
By the time I awake
the worlds portrait
will be colored with
the palette of midnight seas.
What happened to the pixies?
To the gleams of marigolds?
That were flushed with
poppy yellows.
I asked Saturn
“Why is everyone running off through the AM?
When I’m still stuck
in a comatose morning.
---
A Man’s Tears Are Made Of Blood
I once met a man
in a foreign land
abandoning his tears
down the den,
As he crawled out
on his raspy knees
we locked eyes,
he said –
“God forbid I cry during daylight”.
I scrutinized
his adam's apple
swallowing distasteful
sorrows.
But the dark blue lingered
and burned his throat.
A knee jerk scream
escape his red tongue,
the madness robbed
his melancholia.
He was riding on
theoretical beliefs
bred from conspiracies
of a man's descent.
The patriarchy's silhouette
echoes in roars.
A man's tears
are made of blood.
By Cainoosh Khan
"Meet Cainoosh Khan, a Pakistani high school senior whose world revolves around unraveling puzzles, delving into crosswords, and immersing themselves in the beauty of literature. When not lost under academic stress, you'll find her crafting poetic verses, some of which can be found on @meloncholynothings."
You paint yourself over my hazy mistakes
Hues of pale red and gold as if desperate to unearth beauty from a tainted rock
You layer yourself over my shattered mural
Glowing white as if coaxing the shards to exhibit wild shades of emotions
You gleam over my abandoned alleyway
Caressing shadows of anguish as if to create warmth in the wistful emptiness
By Eugénie Baungaléa
"Mentally complex. I have my head in the clouds far beyond this hemisphere. I have dreams of stars that have never been found. I would describe myself as an artist who constantly has to drag herself back to earth in fear of combustion."
Consumerism
‘Do I consume or am I consumed?
Do I buy or am I bought?
Do I learn or am I taught?
Who am I, if I’m not yours?
Not in the objective sense but in the universality of this all.
Who are we without the other person?
Who am I and who are you?
The rich need the poor to stay rich.
The poor need the rich to stay rich.
God made the humans alike itself, but who is God without us and who are we without God?
What makes one important? What makes one useless?
All in all, who is consumed to consume or who consumes to be consumed? ‘
I am still looking for the answer, but for now all I need to know is:
“Are you consumed?”
I wished that God was Listening.
My knees are blue from praying,
My lips dried from silent screaming, Haven’t felt this lost since my teens.
Been looking for happiness in the smallest things,
Have searched for love in useless beings,
Longed for beauty in the perfect body,
Looked for purpose in the wrong fields.
Like stars not shinning in a cloudy sky,
Like sparks of fireworks dying down, Like pools dried up in the winter.
Always ever-changing weather, Lost for hope; She is stuck in the box.
Pandora cannot find joy; she doomed us all.
Golden spoon replacing the torch,
The spark is gone but so is the purpose.
Felt ignored for so long, I stopped praying for some hope.
The voices had taken over, they made it into a sweet little home.
The silence was so loud sometimes it felt like an empty home.
Empty hope found on residing slopes.
One day I prayed to find love in my own world.
The next, I wished for the stars to take me to theirs.
One day, I fell in love with the clouds then the next my spark died in the rain.
One day it was a good start, the next it was a sad end.
I wished that God was Listening Pt.2
Once upon a time, Hope knocked at the door, Didn’t know who it was so I left it closed.
You see mom always said to keep away from strangers.
Never trusted anyone since the talk.
Lost sense of focus to keep myself onto the right road.
Hope waited for me to let the demons in,
Entered like a thief at the party,
My friends left the room.
Empty again it was more than I wished for.
The silent screams were too loud to keep them in.
The music began to feed the walls.
Nothing could get in before there was any sound of Hope.
The first note was what kept hope breathing.
The last note made us crave for the pain to go faster.
One last breath before the next step.
I wish I could tell you God was listening but, in the end, I can only hope for you to open the door to let your demons in.
By Ray Castellanos
"I’m Ray and sometimes when our light disappears, the things they help keep away just come back right when they leave. Follow me at poetry_108"
As the sun slowly leaves
Under the horizon
Tik tok
Ticks in my mind
I know soon, they will come
It’s always at night
Through the day, the shadows linger
But never attack
At night, without the sun
To scare them away
They grow, seeping into my mind
Talking it over with thoughts
Almost screams
Taking away my control
By Anonymous
"anxious, passionate & curious"
Senior Year so far (including
awesome stir fry)
Nov. 30, 2023
It's finally the end of November, which means the year's end is creeping on us. I started my senior year 3 months ago, excited to have a half schedule & multiple days off, but with graduation creeping closer by the day, I can't help but get emotional about leaving. It's not that I'll miss the people (I have no close friends anyway -_-) but the
environment & stability that school offers. You just wake up, prepare for the school day, do your work & come home. In most cases, the only task that's ordered by teachers is school work. So after 13 years of structured education, we are left to our own devices, which is terrifying.
Changing subjects, let me discuss what I ate today.
Up until I came home from school, the only food I ate was a measly granola bar of 100 calories. For context, my mom usually gives me & my younger sister snacks, but we eat them hours before lunch, plus they won't sustain us. School lunch is $3, so when we buy hot lunch, my mother complains about the debt that builds up, so there's many times where I abstain from school lunch.
When I arrived home, I walked towards the fridge, grabbed the remaining naan & the tub of butter, and toasted it. Salty & delicious it was, but that was just the starter.
I walked towards the kitchen & grabbed broccoli, red bell pepper & onions from the fridge. I then grabbed A pack of Indomie chicken flavored noodles in the kitchen drawer. Placing all my products in a designated area, I grab the kettle & fill it with water. Placing the kettle
on its holder, five minutes pass as I chop the veggies urgently & pour it in a bowl. Grabbing coconut oil & ground red pepper from the spicecabinet, I then turn on the stove & scoop oil out of the jar. Making my way to the fridge again, I grab a jar of minced garlic & teriyaki sauce. Pouring it in a bowl & hastily whisking garlic, teriyaki & red pepper in a bowl, I pour it on the pan, the oil bubbling & simmering from the heat. While adding the veggies in the mix, The scent is already infiltrating most of the kitchen.I heard the kettle click sound, reminding me the water has finished boiling. I pour it over the noodles & let it sit for 8 minutes. I pour out the water from the noodles, then placing it in the simmering pan, stirring it in, watching the noodles develop a caramelized color. I cracked an egg & scrambled it in the mix, for extra protein.
I poured the noodles in a serving bowl & took a hefty bite. Piping hot with steam blowing from my mouth, a sweet & spicy umami flavor accumulating in my mouth. Satisfying & filling, It’s everything I needed after a long day.
By Alecia Gabrielle
Alecia Gabrielle, an accomplished poet with eleven years of experience, has earned recognition through awards at the Hinds Community College Literary Festival and the Rankin County District Writing Award. Her work is featured in HoneyFire Lit Magazine and an anthology by Sunday Mornings at the River. Alecia is the author of two self-published collections, "Afterglow Effect" and "man-made motion sickness," as well as a poetry chapbook titled "When You're Stuck in Traffic," published by Bottlecap Press. Originally from Bentonia, MS, she now calls Jackson, MS home, and is currently engaged in exciting new writing projects for the upcoming year.
After marches orchestrated by coyotes and wolves,
after enemies scurried to arouse misery elsewhere,
I dashed passed pieces of cluttered junk,
established sanctum within a faux dining room.
Curled into a replica of a tight kitten ball,
I purred softly as if to invite drowsiness,
licked raw wounds bestowed by the rabid dogs.
I treated myself and basked in the sunlight,
scratched my short neck and fat cheeks,
groomed until I heard a car door slam closed.
Out of the rickety cupboard I crawled—
I shapeshifted back to a human in hell.
By Zoha Hasan
On a melancholy December morning,
I planted a flower in the gardens of my heart.
One so bright yet so sad. One so beautiful yet full of so
contempt.
I planted you, regardless of how you felt.
Regardless of what I knew.
This soil is perfect, perfect for a flower so fragile yet so
frightful.
When I'm done,
I come to check on you,
to see how you are doing…
Fine, you are,
but little do I know how much you want out of the perfect
soil.
Sabotaging everything given to you; including the flowers
around you.
And even though you wanted out,
you plant your roots so deep
the other flowers could hardly breathe.
After an hour, you begin to wilt.
Was it the water? Did I give too much? I wondered.
You whisper "I gave myself more when you weren't looking"
I hear nothing.
Was it the flowers around you? Did they harm you?
You whisper "No, I hardly gave them space to breathe"
I hear nothing.
I think it was the soil, it was just too acidic
You whisper "No, the soil is fine, I'm the one who gave up
despite your care"
I hear nothing. not a word.
A week goes by and I'm still thinking about it.
I shouldn't have planted it in the first place,
the shopkeeper said it was of no use;
it would die in any case.
By Seerat Fatima
Seerat is a poetess of sorts. She likes to spend evenings sipping coffee while watching the trees sway from her window. Her mom thinks Seerat is losing her mind, edging into madness, which Seerat wishes is the case because the alternatives don't look too good.
Healing Is A Bowl Of Sunlight In My Darlings Arms
The weather in my heart was tempestuous,
And everything was hurting,
and there was a chaos, a madness within me
so wholly unbearable I wanted to scream,
I wanted to rip something out of my very being,
but what?
What was causing this eerie turmoil inside me?
Will it stop? Do I want it to? Can it stop?
God, oh God!
I’m falling down that hole again.
And my thoughts are spiraling,
And my fingers are twitching,
yearning for a knife.
And, and, and
Oh god, and,
Will this ever leave me alone?
Will I ever heal from this?
Will my eyes ever stop burning?
Will my bones ever stop aching?
But the afternoon of 20th December was bright,
and turns out,
Healing was simple.
It hurt, but it was Glorious.
It spread through my veins like orange juice,
and tasted suspiciously like something I had been craving.
It singed my senses, but it was sweet.
Healing was a bowl of sunlight,
In my darling's arms.
Healing was a bowl of sunlight.
By Cait Roddam Jones
"Hi! I’m Cait, and I’m a seventeen-year-old actor, writer and musician. I’ve trained with the UK’s National Youth Theatre as well as performing at Shakespeare’s Globe in London, and have carried an innate love for literature ever since I could hold a pen! The themes discussed in my poetry primarily stem from issues closest to my heart, such as intersectional feminism, mental health and what it means to be a young person today. My biggest inspirations include writers such as Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson and Emily Brontë. I hope you like “Temple”,"
"I have always loved ambiguous poetry: work that does not spoon-feed the reader a specific message, so they have to work that little bit harder to utilize their imagination and make of it what they will. I encourage my readers to take from my poetry anything that means something to them - it does not under any circumstances have to do with what I had in mind while writing it. I love hearing people’s interpretations of my work that I never even thought of before!"
The more I fill advancement
Through inconsequential soil,
I find myself in surety of being
Half a creature,
Contributing half a psyche—
Forming one wing upon a kakapo.
I have a confession to make.
I find myself at times
Flirting with the line between
Stentor and oblivion.
The track I tread is a curious one,
Always leads me back
To the footsteps I first dared make
In a child’s cast,
When I knew less, and felt more—
And now it’s in reverse.
Still - this bad deed goes unpunished.
I sip the cold tea, braid my locks
And to bed I go again
To flirt with continuity.
We chide each other for the faults that aren’t at home.
Straitjacket - you say?
Oh no. It is a calling.
It is a brushing of tentacles across the cheek
And a hummingbird’s wayward tongue.
Their methods to take me from the dance—
To this heavy stance I mould into
Upon returning with no music.
I dreamt there was a piano with no white keys upon it,
Those I could recall were only major,
All I could bring myself to sing was a dirge or two.
Survival is an art, just as music is,
And I excel at both.
Recognised for one,
Haunted by another,
Allied - with neither.
This is true - I am but seventeen.
And with my own bulky tongue, do I offend you?
I have never liked people, and I am certain of some mutuality in that.
Ah good, this is starting something and I am on my way now.
There is no forehead to kiss but there is a soul, can’t you see it?
She’s small and has an appetite for roguery—
Hides behind trees and waits for cause to call her back again—
She’ll stay unless she’s commanded otherwise.
This is the same body per say,
And yet such, a different, brain.
No pain no gain,
Much pain and far more weight,
But what have I ever got out of posing bait?
I am a craftsman and a beggar.
Nothing special of me but the little white marks on my skin:
They tell you where I’ve been—
They spill the ink before I can
And flog the words to my poor hand.
I have as many years as I like to grow,
And when I do, do not dare think I will not come for you.
From this breaking cave,
I’ll flaunt a golden mane—
I’ll eat the fools who play my game.
By Anahi Cabrera
Anahi Cabrera is twenty-three years old. She enjoys writing and reading just as much as she enjoys learning languages. She posts her work on Tik Tok @anahicabreraluciano and IG: localcreativewriter and is working on getting into law school and writing her manuscript.
Mother would prefer me dead
“Suicidal behavior among Hispanic youth has been reported to be higher in comparison to non-Hispanic Black and White youth” (Zayas, Pillat 2008) It’s funny to think that I would just become a statistic amongst my fellow latinos (a). This is the lore of how my mother almost killed me. It’s not as dramatic as I make it seem, but it is uncomfortable.
When I was twelve I started to sink in a pit of despair, breathing felt like a chore, waking up felt like a chore, and any basic part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs was not met. And everything felt like a chore. One of the first things I learned about when I entered High School was about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. “Maslow treated the needs for love, affection, and belongingness as a single category. These social motivations differ from physiological and safety
needs in that they are not absolutely necessary for personal survival.” (Kenrick, Douglas T et
al.2010) And that’s when I realized that I lacked several of those levels, my pyramid wasn’t even a whacky line. Could it even be considered a line? I can have that existential crisis later.
I was well aware of the fact that the lack of love, affection and my sense of belonging had started to shape me as a very emotionally unavailable person. But it wasn’t until I learned about the hierarchy, that I truly understood just how messed up it was all.
It wasn’t that I didn’t know that my mental health was declining. Trust me, that was evident. Personally I didn’t think I would make it past my Quinceanera, and yet here I am, at twenty-three, writing about how my parents messed me up. I’ve got to make something out of the trauma they caused, and the whole ‘writing about your trauma’ has worked before, so why won’t it work now? So I didn’t think I would make it past the age of fifteen.
So before then I had been suicidal, the thought of continuing to live while it was hard to breath, and my chest hurt, despite nothing physically being wrong with me, was painful. So the
only thing that went through my mind through my early tweens was how peaceful the world around me would be once I inhaled my last breath.How the constant static I felt, the nerves and the urge to throw up would be gone. How I would stop living in constant fear of my parents, who by the way, should have been the ones to provide most of my needs, but yet they did not.
Now, you would think that being a suicidal tween, it would have made me prone to the usual depressive moods, and change in mood swings, but at the time I was living in delusion. If you could call it that, of just ignoring what was going on at home and acting like everything was perfect in school.
Of course there is only so much that a tween can handle, so after a particular nasty incident, everything came to a full stop, and the thoughts of suicide were quite active, and I had mistakenly thought that maybe, just maybe, letting my mother know about it, how I felt. That she would try to comfort me, but soon I would learn that you can’t expect something like that from someone that has never shown you comfort. I would like to admit that at the time, I still had a small sliver of hope that my mother actually truly cared about me. And now thinking back to it, I had been an idiot. If I had realized sooner, then I wouldn’t have been dealt this blow.
When I spouted my feelings, which by the way my therapist states that I have an aversion to talking about them, and I agree, whenever I talk about my feelings I get an ick and an urge to throw up. So when I spouted my feelings, thinking, wishing that my mother would comfort me, that she would tell me that it was okay. That I shouldn’t think like this, the opposite occurred.
I still remember it quite clearly, like it was yesterday. And till this day I’m certain she doesn’t remember, because for her it was a normal tuesday, meanwhile it’s still ingrained in my mind and when my suicidal thoughts get really bad, her voice echoes in my mind.
“It’s okay, because I at have eight other children, and there’s just one of me” The argument had somehow come into a screaming match, where I begged her to leave my father after a brutal beating she got, telling her, no begging her that I didn’t want to continue living like that, that she had to think about her children, she had to think about us, meaning my younger sister and I. I was eleven at the time and my sister was ten, and we had just witnessed our father brutally beat her to the point where she couldn’t even move. I was tired, so tired. And I foolishly, at the time thought, that telling her how I felt, how I didn’t want to live would shake some sense in her. But it did not.
Instead my mother told me that if I died it wouldn’t really matter as she had other children she could care for, that I was only making her feel bad, and that she wasn’t going to feel bad because she had other children. Ie my older siblings who were already out of the house and had not seen the abuse. And at that moment all I could feel was like the air was taken out of me, and my heartbeat stopped, the tears couldn’t stop flowing, and static started to fill my ears, and I had to rush to the bathroom to throw up the dinner I had barely managed to swallow.
I was eleven when my mother told me that she was fine with me killing myself. I was eleven when my mother told me that I should kill myself, and that I was probably better of dead. That my existence to her was nothing compared to the existence of her other children, and wow, that was a blow.
See the thing is I have never really been close to my mother, or rather she has never really tried to get close to me, no matter how hard I tried, how I yearned for her affection, for her to love me, to care for me like she did with my other siblings. But I was always the odd one out, so maybe I should have known that telling her how I felt would only end in disaster. And how shattered I was.
Thinking back on it, I stopped talking about how I felt, shut myself out, and stopped thinking that my feelings mattered, and the suicidal thoughts were more active. And I became ‘accident prone’ which really was just me with a huge disregard of my health. I was just waiting for something to take me out before I took myself out. I was utterly shattered.
And now it’s a constant stream of thought whenever I see my mother, and whenever she tries to act like a mother to me, and all I can think about are those words. And any time she tries to talk about how good of a relationship we have I hit her with the ‘remember when you thought I was better off dead?’ for the shits and giggles.
While those words are still plunged in my heart, and the suicidal thoughts are still there, it’s something that I can say added to my lore, which is what I like to call my traumatic past. Because calling it a lore is so much more fascinating than calling it a traumatic past. Because it’s such an uncomfortable topic for so many people. But there are so many Hispanic/ Latino people who struggle with suicidal thoughts, and often times they struggle with talking about it with people, so while my experience ended badly, that may not be the case for others. Seeking help is the very first step to healing. And god I’ve taken so many steps, and I hope others do too.
Works cited
Zayas, Luis H, and Allyson M Pilat. “Suicidal behavior inLatinas: explanatory cultural factors
and implications for intervention.” Suicide & life-threatening behavior vol. 38,3 (2008): 334-42. doi:10.1521/suli.2008.38.3.334
Kenrick, Douglas T et al. “Renovating the Pyramid of Needs: Contemporary Extensions Built Upon Ancient Foundations.” Perspectives on psychological science : a journal of the Association for Psychological Science vol. 5,3 (2010): 292-314. doi:10.1177/1745691610369469
By Sasi Kondru
Sasi Kondru is a junior from Texas who loves to write short stories and poems. She has been featured in a smaller publication before and is a part of her school's Creative Writing Club. When she's not writing, she enjoys reading and taking walks.
"I wanted to write about feeling like the days never get better and I chose a letter format to express my thoughts and feelings because it made me feel like I really was talking about tomorrow."
Dear Tomorrow,
I really had faith in you for a while. I really thought that you would pull through and be at least half as good as everyone says you are. But you have done nothing but betray me, disappoint me, make me feel worse than ever before. I used to eagerly wait for you, hoping for something to change, hoping for a better day, a better you.
But you only got worse and worse.
I know that you can’t always be perfect, but it just feels like every day you disappoint me ever more than before. Even when nobody else was there for me, even when everyone else was gone and I felt all alone, I thought I could count on you. Maybe you’ll help me get through the morning not feeling sick, tired, and like garbage? Nope. Maybe a half-decent (see, I’m not even asking for a good one anymore) night’s sleep? Nope. And maybe, just maybe, you could make something good, just one little happy moment, happen? Nope.
And now, thanks to you, I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom. I don’t think that I can take you anymore. Every day, you just make me feel worse, and even though Today is the worst ever, I still do have a little bit of faith left in you.
Because if today is really the worst day ever, maybe tomorrow will be better.
Mariya, a girl who loves to spread her words of realism towards a lie. Who wants to be renowned about her literature so fine and go beyond the barriers of whatever happens. Being a science student but loving the literary part of her life that started by gathering the ups and downs on a piece of paper!
The poem is about how life feels predictable but is so unpredictable. We want to see what's beautiful but at the same time we're standing on a complete unknown path. Still should have that spark of hope to light the fire of oneself!
Obscure Sight!
Had to stop after running from the past,
The present is known yet unknown.
From a small world of us,
To the pressure of life being imposed!
Blindness not far to instill,
The sight of fade world beneath,
Beneath the soul so fragile holding unseen truth,
That cries a smile of struggle so tight!
Rising from a small ditch,
Towards the sky is what our compulsion is,
To reach is the task of a cliff,
If only our scars slip and accept the stitch!
~Mariya Siddiqui